I don't have the time today to create this, but I at least wanted to float the idea out there to the like-minded. Obviously, I've never written scripts before. Hope someone out there gets a kick out of this.

Pitchmen: Reanimated 1

Shot of Anthony Sullivan from waist-up.

Anthony: Hello, Anthony Sullivan here with an amazing product that will truly change your life and the life of your loved ones forever. It's a revolutionary product combining the miracle of science with the dark path of evil.

Shot of Anthony with product on a table.

Anthony:It's called Reanimation, a solution so powerful, it can bring the dead back to life. *Picks up and holds the product*

Shot of pig's head in metal tray.

V/O - Anthony: Watch as we pour Reanimation over this pig's head, bringing it instantly back to life with vigor and vitality.

Pig's head begins to shake, eyes open and roll in agony, mouth makes squealing motions and thrashes.

Close up - Anthony: But don't just take our word for it.

Shot of Anthony with Billy Mayes on a medical examiner's table. The corpse is wearing the trademark blue polo shirt.

Anthony: Watch as we apply Reanimation to the late Billy Mays, star of the hit reality series "Pitchmen"

Eyes open, mouth gasps for breath, body shakes. Billy looks at Anthony in horror, and tries to sit up.

Billy:Oh my god, AUUUUUGH! The pain. What have you done to me! Help Me!

Close up - Anthony:Cowboy up Billy, you have three more Oxyclean commercials in your contract!

Billy:Help Me! Make it stop!

Shot of 1-800 number, with credit cards and participating stores.

Off camera - Anthony:Here's how to order!

Off camera - Billy:(whimpers ) I can feel the worms in my brain

Pitchmen: Reanimated 2 - the Return of Billy Mays

Shot of Billy Mays from the waist up holding a bottle of Reanimation. Occasional fly or two passes in the background.

Billy:Hi! Billy Mays here with a revolutionary new product that will change your life, and the life of your loved ones forever. It's called Reanimation, and it literally brings the dead back into the world of the living.

Four - way split screen of re-animating people, animals, and a tomato plant.

Billy:Use it on loved ones, pets and houseplants to change history, correct mistakes, and resolve life's tragedies.

Shot of horrifying motorcycle accident. Victim is reanimated with shock, pain and agony.

Billy:It's so amazing, we used it to revive this motorcycle accident victim. Watch as he brilliantly comes back to life with stunning vitality.

Close up - Billy:(fly buzzes by head) But that's not all.

Shot of other trivial products.

V/O: Billy:Call now and we'll throw in industrial strength deodorant, a flyswatter, insect repellant, and oxycotin. A fifty dollar value, all together with Reanimation, for only $19.95

Close up - Billy:(more flies gather in background, Billy is beginning to look a little green) But wait, if you call now, we'll throw in this DVD: "100 uses for reanimated dead people". That's a 20 dollar value, now free with your order.

Billy with products on table:Call now to get this amazing offer! Here's how to order!

Shot of "How to order" screen

Off camera - Billy:Anthony! How many more of these do I have to do? Just kill me already!